Friday, October 31, 2008

about couples

It was a coincidence that i had come to our family doctors clininc the other day. it was after a long time that i visited the place. It was an often visited place during school time for good(school holiday) and bad(pills and injections)reasons. These days the our family doctor mostly works in academics and research. He has known us for many years and so general conversation was happening about families and how trends are changing. Then it was about how its difficult to find a good matchthese days. That is how we came to know he's working on this research, showing how couples from last generation are reacting on their relationship.

He said usually we feel that couples are either fine with their partner, or have adjusted with them or have grown to like them invariably. Well it was anything but that in most cases. He explained, in most of the cases it was women who regreted being the person they have married. And some cases they were men. The regret was seen in many areas. Some were not happy with the kind of character their partner had, some with their nature and were frustated living together. A lot cases had common complains. He changed after marriage. hes not the same, he/she cared more before. Some gave complains like they were cheated. They were kept in dark about lot of aspects of their partners life or lied on. Or further more they cheated in relationship(which is getting more common then reality shows nowadays).


He obviously could'nt go through this whole presentation. But he concluded that its not that last generation people have excepted and lived with whoever they got married with. They have actually lived with the regret, frustation and pain. I would'nt say it applies to everybody, but definitely to large group of people.


We may always try to find one way or other to have "a kind of perfect" relationship, but what comes out is there is no sure shot solution or remedy. One can't comment on what'll work, arrange marriage or love marriage. At the end of the day what is it? What can keep you going and keep you happy importantly?


I say it is just about tolerating each other. the question is how much can you tolerate the other person? Enough to spend, no i'll correct myself, Tolerate enough to live your life with the chosen one(that is if there is a chosen one). Yeah! Thats how your brain may analyse. Will you be able to Tolerate this person for a lifetime?

4 comments:

yours faithfully said...

my dear someday u wud re-write this blog....

hallabol said...

dnt ever say "yes" to someone with this agenda....tolerataion levels????godddd wht has happened to u. u better stay alone than tolerating someone...do u realise? its a very negative word...n the world isnt tht bad...imagine..u saying this "bas jhel rahi hoon is aadmi ko" eeeeeecks..n then "ab to jhelne ki vajah bhi hai...ye chintu aur wo pintu...inki school fees, kapde..padhai"

why r u sounding like a nista dugar of 1920ssssssssssss abla naari...arreeee now u r aaaa 'balaa' (how dare u) naari...try looking at the advantages of this age!!

n tell the doctor uncle to do a comparetive study of the two generations....

i think "yours faithfully" has been short, simple n too the point.. i too beleive tht u will re-write it! amen:)

yours faithfully said...

dont use words like 'tolerate' to envelope ur personality..u r a escapist or may be hopelessly in love...

niarcane said...

If i have to choose from 2 wrong things i'll choose escapist.'cause then we've a scope to grow, learn and live differently.May be you shud read the other post. I've said, there are many things we still have to know and experience.